Tuesday, April 10, 2007

new posts

All my new posts are at:

http://blog.myspace.com/crackedpale



Awesome.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Temps de lit

mon lit s'était plaint toute la semaine où ce I havent a lavé les feuilles.

Je lui ai dit que pour cesser de se plaindre, je ne suis pas inquiété pourquoi si il est ?.


Il m'a donné un coup de pied dehors trois le matin.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Monitor relations

To the side of the class are three monitors that look very cosy together.

I walked up to them and asked what was going on.

"well" the middle one answered

"My husbands and I are considering shacking up with some hard drives and starting a family".

I nodded and walked away.



I love computers. Theyre such free spirits.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Ceiling Fan

I was starring at the ceiling fan today, she was spinning away like all ceiling fans tend to (unless they are broken or turned off).
I asked her if life gets a little repetitive.
She laughed, "you should see what happens here after hours.
I could tell you some stories...." I was very intrigued. "like what?!" I asked.
At that moment she turned off.
"thankyou" someone yelled across the room "I was getting cold".


Oh well, I thought. I'll ask her tomorrow.

Fire extinguisher

The fire extinguisher in the foyer was acting up today.

There seemed to be no possible way to calm him down.

One student tried throwing paper cups at it, but I knew that wasnt the answer.

I stormed over to it, "what the hell is your problem?!"

I snapped. The extinguisher froze still.



obviously it was all for attention.
It had been a long time since a fire

Japanese mermaid

I was at the river the other day.

I like the river, the trees are nice.

I was just sitting around when a Japanese mermaid swam up to the bank.

"The trees here are nice." I said to her

she looked at me and handed me a fish.

"Thanks" I said, trying to hold the fish.

she swam away and I put the fish back in the water.



I dont like talking to mermaids. They always assume I'm fishing.

John Safran in a box

This is John Safran.

He's in a cornflakes box.

I like John Safran and Cornflakes.

I stole this picture from JohnSafran.com.



I wish I had a John Safran in a box.

Happy little party pie

Party pies are always happy.

I think it's because theyre so small.

If they had legs I'm sure they would run really fast.



It's probably a good thing they don't have legs.

you know what?

I really like John Safran.

nothing else.

no story.

I just really like John Safran.



This isnt very make believe.

Mousey mousey

I was on my computer when my mouse asked me this question.


"why am I called a mouse?"

I explained why and described the creature it had been named after.

my mouse was quiet for a while.

"there is really such thing as a creature with a wheel in it's head!"



I chose not to answer.This object has access to all the information in the world and still doesnt know what a mouse is.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Empty can

So I was in the elevator today and I noticed an empty drink can sitting lonely in the corner, seeming very sad.

"why so glum?" I asked.

"ah, no reason" he replied. I got off at my floor and began to walk away when I heard him sobbing behind me.



I hate being lied to by aluminium, It makes me feel like less of a person.

Floppy disk

Today I was approached by a floppy disk asking the time.

I asked if he was in a hurry or was just curious, "neither" he answered "I just need to know how long until smoko" I looked at the clock on my phone "5 mins bub" I answered him.

Later in the day I was saving some work onto disk and I remembered my little aquaintence from earlier.

I thought to when he metioned smoko and it suddenly occured to me.
no wonder disks die all the time.... some of them smoke!



I then walked out, lit a ciggerette and pondered the situation.

Matrix food

Today while I was making breakfast, I noticed my food in the fridge were all taking part in a 'bullet time' battle.

I was quite impressed at the way they could summon the ability to control time. "What's the fight all about?" I asked.

the half aten tuna and lettuce sandwich turned to me and answered "the margarine just saw the matrix... he thinks he can do better."


I shut the fridge and shuddered at the thought of my food watching action movies.

Last night

There were pirates at my window again last night.

I like pirates... but not at 2am.

The Captain needed some sugar

"why dont you get the cook to get some for you?" I asked

"I have diabetes and he will not allow it." The captain answered



I shut my window and went back to sleep. I didnt cause this so i choose not to be part of the problem.

There's a speck in my coffee

My cofee was getting a little cold.

I'm not a huge fan of cold coffee.

I took a reflex look into my coffee cup and noticed a small speck.

"what are you doing in my coffee??" I asked

"It's a pretty hot day, I felt like cooling down a bit" he answered.



I felt a little insulted. Next time I will drink my coffee a little quicker.